The Gods Read Percy Jackson
by Meggels921
Summary: The fates, Apollo, Hermes, and Hephaestus send the Percy Jackson series to the gods in the past in hopes of changing the future for the better
1. The Note

**Do I look Like Rick Riordan to you. No. I do not own percy jackson. If I did Percy and Rachel never would have kissed and after the first book Percy would be considered a HUGE hero and everyone would get together with the person they're meant to be with and everyone would live happily ever after.**

It was a normal day on Olympus. Or so they thought. Zeus was going along with his business idly making rainstorms in brazil as he listened to Hera rant about how abhorrent demigods are, when there was a flash of blinding light. Once the light had gone down Zeus could see that now filling the throne room were all the gods, including Hades.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Zeus thundered ( _hehe get it?_ ). But he never got an answer because for a minute the gods all just sat there is shock.

"Did you not call us here, father?" Athena asked, finally breaking the silence that had formed.

"No, no I did not, do ANY of you know why you are here?" Zeus asked trying to stay calm. Just then another flash of light appeared although this time smaller. All the gods looked at it tentatively until it finally died down, revealing a small piece of paper. Hestia then stepped forward and gently picked up the piece of paper reading it aloud.

"Dear gods,

We have gathered you together because we are from the future and in the future bad things- no terrible things happen, although Kronos was defeated Gaea has now risen and two of the demigods that will be very influential in her demise have fallen into tartarus. This is why I am sending back books that depict the event that lead up to the two heroes falling into tartarus from the perspective of Percy Jackson. Please give us a better future

Signed,

The Fates, Hermes, Apollo, and Hephaestus

P.S. Hermes and Apollo say hi to their past selves" by the time the note was finished everyone had mixed emotions. While they were happy that Kronos was defeated, they were confused as to why he was back. They were also confused as to how Gaea had risen. Then there was, for the third time that night, a bright light then 5 books appeared in the middle of the room. Once again Hestia stepped forward and took a book off the top of the pile.

" **Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief"** she read. At this Zeus started to get mad. And so they started to read.


	2. Chapter 1 (part1)

****Hi Guys! I Just wanted to say I am soooooo sorry for taking so long to update its just that school has kept me soooooo busy. I promise to update more often. Oh, I also want to know what you guys want me to do! I got some Questions asking if I did any Outsiders fanfiction, The answer is yes or at least if you guys want me to. I have a chapter of outsiders fanfiction just sitting on google docs right now and if you guys want me to post it I will. And Finally I wanna say that if you guys have any ideas for fanfiction PLEASE tell me I love to hear your ideas!****

 ** **Disclaimer: I am not a 52 year old millionaire , ok, so don't rub it in****

 **I accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher** Hestia read. At this all gods were puzzled.

 _How can you accidentally vaporize someone?_ Was the thought that passed through all their minds

 **Look I didn't want to be a half-blood.** Again all the gods were perplexed

 _Shouldn't they want to be our kids?_ They all thought

 **If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dads told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.** At this Zeus turned to Athena. She answered his unasked question.

"This might work if your godly parent isn't very powerful" she said.

 **Being a half-blood is dangerous. Its scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."** All the gods looked down remembering all their children that had died painful deaths.

 **If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

"Why would a mortal have this?" Hades asked

"From what little information I have collected it seems as though this may also appear to mortals as fiction." Athena stated with a look on her face that told everyone in the room that she was deep in thought.

 **But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

 **Don't say I didn't warn you.**

 **My name is Percy Jackson.** Poseidon tensed up in realization that it was his 1 month old son. This action did not go unnoticed by Athena. She eyed him curiously. She brushed it off for now but she wanted to check out what happened later.

 **I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

 **Am I a troubled kid?** Hermes looked up.

 **Yeah. You could say that.** Hermes cracked up.

"Even *Laughter* He *Laughter* Thinks he *Laughter* is troubled" He said in between laughs.

 **I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started getting bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- Twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.** Athena was started to get interested.

"That sounds like fun." she said with a glint in her eye

"No it sounds like torture" said Poseidon

 **I know-it sounds like torture.**

All the gods laughed and Poseidon started looking uncomfortable.

 **Most Yankee field trips are.**

 **But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

 **Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.**

"Does that remind you of anyone?" Poseidon asked. All the gods smiled at the fond memories of the centaur.

 **You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.** Athena looked offended at this statement.

 _Sleeping in class!_ She thought infuriated.

 **I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

 **Boy, was I wrong.**

 **See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

Hermes was rolling on the floor laughing and Apollo was struggling to stay on his throne.

 **And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit** **the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

All the gods were cracking up except Athena and Hera and even they were having to fight off smiles.

 **And the time before that . . . Well, you get the idea.**

"No I wanna hear more!" Hermes whined.

 **This trip, I was determined to be good. All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"Eeewwwwww" Aphrodite said scrunching up her face in disgust.

 **Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.**

"Satyrs" Zeus said in disgust.

 **He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"He's going to blow his cover that way" Hermes said. Obviously upset at the bad lying.

 **Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death**

"WHAT?!" Poseidon roared. At the same time a small ship in the Caribbean was taken down by a large wave. His reaction peaked Athena's interest

 _Now I have to find out what's going on_ she thought to herself.

"Let me read" Hestia said impatiently having already read the next line.

 **by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"Oh" Poseidon said sheepishly while nervously fiddling his thumbs in his lap.

" **I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

"Do it" Ares said leaning forward in anticipation for a fight.

 **Grover tried to calm me down.**

" **It's okay. I like peanut butter." He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

" **That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"Boo" Ares said wanting a fight.

" **You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

 **Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.**

Ares huffed knowing there would not be a fight.

 **In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into. Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Longer" Athena said absentmindedly. She was trying to figure out why Poseidon was having such strong reactions to him.

 **He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele , for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting,**

"At least he's trying to listen" Athena mumbled her approval **but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodd's, would give me the evil eye. Mrs. Dodd's was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

Hades sat up staring at the book intently because he just figured out who 'Mrs. Dodds' was.

 **From her first day, Mrs. Dodd's loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

This did it for Persephone she finally connected the dots and looked at Hades for affirmation. He only gave her a nod confirming that it was Alecto they were reading about.

 **One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

This caught the gods attention making everyone, excluding Hades and Persephone, think she was some kind of monster **.**

 **Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said,**

" **Will you shut up?" It came out louder than I meant it to. The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

" **Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" My face was totally red. I said,**

" **No, sir." Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele.**

 _He won't know it_ was the thought of most of the gods minds but Poseidon had hope that he knew it.

" **Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it.**

"He's not as dumb as I thought" Hephaestus said making his opinion clear for the first time since they started reading.

" **That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

All the gods who were there groaned at the memory.

" **Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because . . ."**

" **Well . . ." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and—"**

"GOD?!" Zeus screamed shooting a plane out of the sky killing 3 people and injuring 10.

" **God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

" **Titan," I corrected myself.**

"Good" Zeus mumbled

" **And . . . he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"**

" **Eeewww!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"'Eeeeewwwww' is right" Demeter said looking off into space with an unpleasant look upon her face.

"— **and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

"He just put one of the longest and hardest battles in history in one sentence" Athena said unsure of how to feel about this.

 **Some snickers from the group. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

" **And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"Busted." Dionysus muttered.

" **Busted," Grover muttered.**

"How about we take a break?" Heats said, interrupting herself. "I looks like there's still a lot left in the chapter and it's getting later so Apollo needs to drive the sun…." She trailed off leaving the idea in the air.

"Alright we'll continue reading in a half an hour. Until then you may go do what you please.

 **I'm soooooooooooooo sorry it took me so long to update and I'm even more sorry that I had to cut the chapter short, I hate it when authors do that but it was taking too long to finish the full chapter and I wanted to give you guys something. I should be finished with the rest of this chapter either by tonight or tomorrow morning.**

 **Thanks for all the support Bye!**


	3. Chapter 1 (part 2)

**Hi Guys! I'm soooooo sorry that i took so long to update. I swear my English teacher hates me. She gave me three projects and then i went to Florida. ik you guys don't want to hear about my trip so i'll keep it short. I went to harry potter world! So now i might want to start writing a HP fanfic! Tell me what you guys think! I love you all so much!**

 **I wanted to clarify that Hestia is reading and All the Olympians plus Dionysus and Persephone are there and of course hestia is there! They are there b/c i want them to be there so now, onto the story.**

 **Enjoy!**

The gods took a break from reading while Artemis brought the moon up and Apollo drove the sun down.(does he drive it down? well he does in this story!)

They all took their previous spots on their thrones or seats. And Hestia continued reading.

" **Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"Horse...horse ears." Dionysus muttered looking down at his hands surprising all the gods that he was actually paying attention.

 **I thought about his question, and shrugged.**

" **I don't know, sir."**

"Such an intelligent answer" Athena said unimpressed.

" **I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed.**

" **Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

"We really need to teach him how to be more subtle"

 **The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

"Boys are doofuses" Artemis said indignantly

 **Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said,**

" **Mr. Jackson." I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner.**

" **Sir?" Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go—intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Observant" Athena muttered staring at her lap. It was no doubt in the gods minds that she was

" **You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

" **About the Titans?"**

" **About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

" **Oh."**

 _Really?! Is that all he can say!_ Athena thought while rolling her eyes at his stupidity.

"Such an intelligent remark" Athena scoffed.

" **What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson." I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard. I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped.**

"That sounds… actually kinda cool?" Apollo stated more as a question as if asking 'can school be cool?'.

"That actually sounds pretty….cool." Apollo said amazed that you could have fun in school.

 **But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C–in my life. No—he didn't expect me to be as good ; he expected me to be better . And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly. I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"Observant" Hepaetus said barely above a whisper so only he heard.

 **He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes.**

"What are you two fighting about now." said an exasperated Dionysus.

 **I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

 _Why are father and uncle Poseidon fighting?_ Athena wondered adding this to the long list of questions she wants to get answered about this strange book.

This made Poseidon frown.

What is making me so upset? He thought trying to figure out if he was having a fight with one of the other gods. After about ten seconds, though, he gave up realizing that there was no way he could remember what they were fighting about because it was in the future, and it hadn't happened yet.

 **Nobody else seemed to notice.**

 _Mist_ all of the gods thought, some of them sporting small

"Aaaahhh, the beauty of the mist." Apollo said in a dreamy fashion.

 **Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse**

Hera gave Hermes a questioning look as if to say 'is this your kid?'

The gods turned to him, hoping to get an answer to Hera's unasked question.

"Not every thief is my kid," Hermes exclaimed in an exasperated tone "Plus, it said 'trying' my kids are able to pickpocket someone easily."

 **, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

" **Detention?" Grover asked.**

" **Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius." Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said,**

" **Can I have your apple?"**

"Satyrs" Dionysus mumbled, rolling his eyes at satyrs inability to think of anything other than food.

 **I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

Hermes cracked a smile.

 **I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked** **out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Mama's boy" Ares snorted.

"What's wrong with loving your mom?" Hera asked glaring at him.

"Nothing mother" Ares said quietly,squirming under his mother's gaze

 **Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.**

Hephaestus looked intrigued and started coming up with designs in his head.

 **I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"Uuuggghhhh!" Aphrodite exclaimed "can this girl get any worse?"

" **Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"Good" Aphrodite said smugly "At least she's not if she was pretty it would be ten times worse"

 **I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank.**

 **A wave roared in my ears.**

This peaked Athena's interest,while the other gods paid it no mind.

 **I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming,**

" **Percy pushed me!" Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. Some of the kids were whispering:**

" **Did you see—"**

"— **the water—"**

"— **like it grabbed her—"**

"YOU" Zeus thundered (sorry i just had to do it) standing up and pointing his master bolt (is it one word or two?) at Poseidon who was trying to sink into his throne.

"Father" Athena reasoned "Please let us read the books then after we finish you can decide if you still want to kill Poseidon."

Zeus hated to admit it but her reasoning was solid so he begrudgingly sat down,mumbling about a broken oath.

 **I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again. As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester.**

" **Now, honey—"**

" **I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

"NOOOOOO! You NEVER guess your punishment!" Hermes said standing up with a pained expression on his face as if it hurt that percy would do such thing.

 **That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"Well Duh." Apollo said

" **Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

" **Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

" **I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

" **But—"**

" **You—will stay—here." Grover looked at me desperately.**

" **It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

" **Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now." Nancy Bobofit smirked. I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

 **How'd she get there so fast?**

Everybody was on the edge of their seat, literally.

 **I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"I'm not so sure" Poseidon said,knowing it was because of his demigod instincts.

 **I wasn't so sure.**

He smiled at that. But a small smile was all he could manage because the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

 **I went after Mrs. Dodds. Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel. I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall. Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop. But apparently that wasn't the plan. I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section. Except for us, the gallery was empty. Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods.**

 **She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

"Oh no" Hermes voiced the gods thoughts.

 **Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it . . .**

" **You've been giving us problems, honey," she said. I did the safe thing. I said,**

" **Yes, ma'am." She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket.**

" **Did you really think you would get away with it?" The look in her eyes was beyond mad.**

 **It was evil.**

"Observant" was all that was said in the quiet of the throne room.

 **She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me. I said,**

" **I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am." Thunder shook the building.**

" **We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

 **I didn't know what she was talking about. All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

Everyone knew it was meant to be funny and it was, to some extent, but no one laughed, they were too nervous to even think of laughing.

" **Well?" she demanded.**

" **Ma'am, I don't . . ."**

" **Your time is up," she hissed.**

 **Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings.**

 **She wasn't human.**

 **She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

"HADES! Poseidon Screamed.

 **Then things got even stranger. Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

" **What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air. Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore.**

"Huh?" Apollo asked

 **It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day. Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

"P**sy" Ares snarled, this earned a glare from Poseidon.

 **She snarled, "Die, honey!" And she flew straight at me. Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

 **The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

Even Ares had to admit it was impressive. He had just killed a kindly one without ANY previous knowledge of their world or any training.

 **Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me. I was alone. There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me. My hands were still trembling.**

"That must have been freaky." Hermes said, all the gods nodded in agreement.

 **My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

 **Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"Unfortunately, no, no you did not imagine it" Apollo said.

Athena rolled her eyes at his antics.

 **I went back outside.**

 **It had started to rain.**

 **Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said,**

" **I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt." I said,**

"Who?" Poseidon asked. Hestia laughed having read the next line.

" **Who?"** All the gods smiled while Poseidon looked down sheepishly.

" **Our teacher . Duh!" I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr.**

 **I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away. I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. He said,**

" **Who?" But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

 _Note to self: have my kids teach the satyrs how to lie._ Hermes said in his head

" **Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." Thunder boomed overhead.**

"See agrees." Hermes exclaimed while theatrically waving his in Zeus' direction.

 **I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. I went over to him. He looked up, a little distracted.**

" **Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson." I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

" **Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?" He stared at me blankly.**

" **Who?"**

" **The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher." He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned.**

" **Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"**

 _Chiro on the other hand can lie_ Hermes said in his head.


End file.
